A girl in my office committed a suicide this Friday.
We received a condolence message on Saturday morning, my heart sank a bit but I came out of it in a few moments. I thought I will not remember it again. But it came back, again and again. I hardly knew her, just saw her doing make-up in the powder room few times. I was wondering what may have caused her death, and heard one of her friend talking it out loud that she committed suicide over a, break-up.
Suicide over a break-up with a guy, is it that simple to die?
I’m having a hard time getting it out of my head. It is difficult to realise that you never know who will be alive tomorrow and who won’t. It is scary to know that there exists a power beyond your brain which controls you. I am scared, I truly am. And extremely sad that people don’t have love around them to hold them back from doing something like this.
I know how a break-up makes you feel, its a phase which only some can survive from.
One guy who is the center of your universe till one moment, is just not there anymore. Your morning, afternoon, evening and night revolves around him. Your likes, dislikes, dreams, wishes, achievements, failures and practically everything is shaped up around him. He is your lover, elder brother, best friend, companion, saviour and partner in crime. He is one person who makes you who are. You just fucking don’t remember yourself without him, you just cant imagine yourself without him. And he is just not there anymore. He is just a shadow, a dream, an imaginary figure which doesn’t fit in your fingers, who is just an illusion when you try to take him close.
A part of you dies the day someone you love so much goes away for ever. You can never be that person again. You can never love the way you loved again. You can feel the hole in your heart, it will stay empty forever. It’s crazy, its horrible to be in such situation. But, what I also know is that you move on. You survive, you sail through, you live again. The emptiness remains but colours do get back in life.
Don’t know what she went through, don’t know why she did what she did. It is just so sad for the family and the lover who’s left behind. People left behind face the horrible destiny more than the one who dies. Irony of life and break-ups.
I always think that, one should be with a guy who grows to become your strength not your weakness. And yet, no matter how much you love someone – no guy is worth dieing for!
What can I say more, May her soul rest in peace!