I wish she were here!
No one took me seriously when I said a part of me went missing when she left us all! They consoled me without asking the depth of this feeling…
Possibly, because I was on a high at the time.. of having a baby, for being in one of the best phases of my life, I didn’t even mourn or gave her leaving enough importance. I was relieved with her going as it reduced my family from the relentless efforts they took every day.
And now I am here. Look at other women in my morning walk, making eye contact, saying hello, asking how they are doing.. without realizing that I am searching for her in them!
It just hit me today! That she would have loved my daughter, or tell her stories about me or feed her everything I liked in my childhood or just be there. All of this won’t ever happen again.
I wish someone would have physically slapped me back on earth from that high in her last days. I wish I were better than this; I just wish I would have told her what she means to me and wanted her to get better and stay for me.
After all, my childhood was nothing if it wasn’t for her or with her!!
My grandmother, mom’s mom – Shashikala, I love you to the infinity!!
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