Those men are just in movies and books who sweep you off your feet and stay forever. Well, who knows if they stay like that forever, we only get to see the movie until they get married or find a way to each other after a grave realization. Until now, I never believed that I may have tried to fit in a few men in my life into those character buckets. And well, they fit in for a while, and then they didn’t. Which was natural. But guess what? I was 22 or 25 or even 28 at that time. Now I am bigger, and my day is filled with “if my daughter is full or still hungry” thoughts.
Even at almost 32, the girl in me hasn’t changed. I still believe in fairy tales and those moments where “a guy will tuck in my face in his hands and say you’re beautiful,”; whereas every breath in me believes I’m not. I weigh 10 kg more than before, I work more and relax no more, and I dressed up as a lady last in 2017. But hey, pregnancy, delivery, and childbirth fucks up your body, mind, relationships, and, most importantly, self-worth. But when that child takes you close when you’re low, every tear that rolls down knows you are saved. She saves me every time.
From my mind, from my issues, from my needs, from the negativity in my life.
This is what I was listening to when I wrote this blog! Go ahead, it’s surprisingly breathtakingly lovely.