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Journey

She’s.. just irreplaceable!

I’m not gonna call her my best friend. Best friends leave and I don’t want her to go anywhere.

My friend, my closest friend, my wing-woman, my just like sister friend… that’s enough i guess 😉

She has my name. Her brother has my brother’s name. Coincidence but a very good one. That’s how we started our friendship. OH YOU TOO moment!

They say everyone has a professional life, personal life and a secret life. Probably she’s the only one who knows 90% of my personal and secret life. Yes I’m not an Open book anymore, I wish i get back to be one soon!

She’s an advanced version of me. I always say that. Not advanced technologically but from being individualistic perspective and I like that about her. She lives life on her own terms, not bound by people or situations. If you are a girl who doesn’t like to be told, doesn’t like to be restricted, doesn’t like to be taken for granted, who is an absolute charmer and generous yet extremely cold and naive at times… just like me.. then you will understand what i mean!

We stay in one city but we meet once a year. We don’t talk daily but one phone call and we know everything that’s going on. We are insanely similar in few things and diversely different in some. We lie to the world but we don’t lie to each other. We crib and crib and cry and stay sad for long but we still have fun when we speak about our pains. We love people around us but yet we hate them a lot at times. We are very close to our partners but yet we have our own world where no one can enter. We know each other so well that usually the thing that needs 100 words to explain is explained in 10 words while talking. We have similar problems with the world and we love that we have them. We know we can break through the situations by ourselves but we still expect some emotional support from each other.

But there’s one major difference, i don’t scold her like she does:( Anyway, no one can scold her i guess 😉

I have been waiting for the moment when she will get married. Two people in love for such long years will create an awesome life. I am eagerly waiting to see that happen. Besides, marriage settles you, gives you a new direction in life – I believe that truly. Having a partner who loves you, understands you, knows you so well and has gone through all phases of a relationship with you has to be grabbed as soon as possible 😉

No matter how bossy she may get at times, I love her! She has been there, when no one was around. She has been there, when everything was falling apart.. She has also been there, when times were the bestest possible.. She has seen it all!

This one’s in the happiness of her marriage.. 🙂

 

 

 

 

Categories
Journey My Insights

It is September again..

It’s that time of the year again, month of September – my birthday month. This must be the first time I’m writing on the occasion of my birthday. What’s so special about this time? Nothing really.. It’s the past one year that has been special or rather eventful. Extremely eventful, so much so that at one point I felt the necessity of stagnant days.

I woke up today morning and somehow suddenly realized that its a birthday month and slowly all the events from past one year started appearing in front of my eyes. I am not so happy about how it went as I was at the most vulnerable self of mine. Just whisking away in the direction the wind was moving. But I also created some amazing things in my life, unleashed new side of my life that wasn’t explored before.

I started Dancing 🙂

Oh yes, I started dancing! I had this mind block about dancing  as long as I remember. I saw people around me eventually losing interest in dancing. One day, I found myself on the dance floor with my entire family and just did not look back. However I could, I just kept dancing for more than two hours with my besties. The moment of dancing with two best men in my life in unforgettable.

Since then, till today I have danced on few more occasions. Its funny how it works, when you start loving something you start getting more n more opportunities like that. I love it, I just love dancing now. I have always had this dream of learning Salsa, it definitely looks a real thing now 🙂

I kind of lost my best friends..

Ahh this is the most screwed part of the entire year probably, which kills me even today. Well by now, everyone who knows about me knows that I dont have much friends. I have just been like that since forever and I didn’t regret that fact till last year than before. Why? because your so called friends turn back on you and then you are left nowhere. With no one to talk, share or cry with.

Oh yes, I never believed it before but people only want the “GOOD part of YOU” nobody wants you when you are Cranky, Sad, Upset or specially Demanding. They don’t want you anymore because you are not behaving the same way as before. No one wants to change things around in that friendship and spend 10min on understanding what’s wrong but they are okay breaking, altering or leaving than just being there for you. I don’t leave, I cant. That’s not in my genes.

So I was left behind.. Feeling bad, lonely at the effect of how people make perceptions about you and change!

I learned a lesson, never be a Fool in Love..

Fools in love, are there any creatures more pathetic?
Fools in love, never knowing when they lost the game

Fools in love they think they’re heroes,
cos they get to feel no pain
I say fools in love are zeroes
I should know, I should know
Because this fool’s in love again – Inara George

Never think that, its going to stay the same way forever. Never depend on someone else for your happiness. You love too much is it, well its your problem!

I successfully pulled myself out of the Depression 🙂

This is the biggest achievement of the year by far! My family faced a lot in this period. I was as good as a ghost for many months. There but not quite. Thinking something else, talking something else. Shut in the home, not moving out. Not sharing, forget about having fun. Always crying. A laughter has to end with a cry. Just talking about leaving alone somewhere all the time. Talking of relocating alone somewhere all the time. Its not that I liked being depressed but I just could not understand what was going on. I wasn’t finding a way out of it.

But One day, I could see how people close to me were affected. And I just said, this is not how I’m repaying their contribution and love in my life. Then nothing could stop me till I broke the darkness.

I found the purpose of my life..

In a journey of Three months or so along with some unknown faces I went through a self-exploration journey, I found out the “Why” in my life. What Simon Sinek talks about in TED just doesn’t apply to businesses but I believe it also applies to our life. Why – Do – Have is the way to go in life.

I found that, the only passion and purpose of my life is “Making a Difference” in situations, in other peoples lives. What I do will only give me the satisfaction that I desire only when I work on my “Why”.

I became ONE with my family..

So much peace is back in life, I cant tell you. I am totally a different person because of this now. I went into the depth of every relation in my family and apologized where I needed to, created something new where I felt like and just involved them in smallest possible thing of my life. I took up being there biggest support and it has just changed the equation. All those small little voices irritating me have disappeared.

I love the air around my family.

I grew in my career..

I have been having big-time fall-outs in my career since last few years. But Last year was the golden year where I was totally in control of everything in my office. I learned so many new things, I produced revenue for the company, I created a responsible image of myself, I started working in niche sides of work where hardly anyone works, I kept myself away from the controversies and overcame all obstacles that came my way. I gained respect and experience like never before.

Whats next? Still figuring it out, but I will get there. As my dad always says, “You gotta keep on jumping to see whats on the other side”. I will.

I explored some beautiful desires of mine 🙂 🙂

Somewhere in that three month journey I started believing in my dreams. How crazy and unreal they might be, I started loving them. I started loving myself, which I thought was impossible before.IMG_20140727_073253

One of the things I am currently reading “Eat, Pray, Love” Elizabeth Gilbert has mesmerized me totally. I feel like I have lived every moment that Liz talks about. Now..

All I wanna do now is Go to Rome , alone or not I don’t know but I wanna see those places that she experienced of.

I also want to go on a Solo trip somewhere, I am still scared of it but now my passion for going is overpowering the fear of it.

I also want to go on a Writing workshop somewhere Out of India. I want to explore the world beyond through my experiences, my writing and set new standards for pleasures in my life.

I want to start my novel. I believe I cant write about characters, but I want to overcome that.

I guess this much eventfulness in the year is enough to speak about 😉 or else I may have turn this year into a novel. When i started this blog, I was shit interested in celebrating my birthday. But now, I am back baby! I want to celebrate my birthday just like always…

This one’s definitely dedicated to my family, the warriors of my life!

And yes how could I forget.. Modiji won the election this year!

Categories
Silent Thoughts

Mr. McDreamy…Dreaming along!

You are all I need , to be free.

You are my life time guarantee.

Coz i know i think of you when i am down and feelin blue

You know the days go by, they never end

It’s like they never end until tomorrow

Coz you are my lifetime guarantee

You are all I need, to be free.

Meredith sees him in the corridor of hospital , exhales a sigh which meant ‘shit I want him so badly’, feels helpless and calls him Mr. McDreamy

A grey eyed guy with crop beard , little sad face, average-ish physique , stands-out in 50 people , intelligent, humorous, lightening gaze which looks within and walks like a college guy who has no worry whatsoever. That’s Mr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey ) from Grey’s Anatomy.

Now you might think whats so special about him that he landed up as a topic of the blog? Well Nothing and Everything. He is perfectly imperfect. Just the way I like it.

He would wear this Orange Tee and sit at the bar enjoying his drink alone. Not talking much just thinking to himself. And a girl comes n sits beside him. He looks at her, and finds her cute says “wow she has a nice smile”. Starts talking, about the weather and work and falls for her. Eventually she falls in his arms perfectly.

That’s all how it started and went on..

Patrick-DempseyAfter a long thought,I realized I like the idea of him from the core.

A soft spoken guy making the first move, making you feel the pain in your guts because of the way he treats you, who talks endlessly about past future work dreams friends family just anything, includes you in his life in a moment, a guy who doesn’t think too much of the consequences, who takes a step first just realizing the connection two people share, who is not bound by stupid conversations of society, morality, who accepts you the way you are, who cares for your family the way you do, who puts himself second when you are around, who gets angry very quickly because he cant stand the mediocrity, who guides you in your work, who compels you to go forward and try new things, who kicks you in your butt if you dont perform, who teaches you things which you need support in, who takes you as a partner, listens to your suggestions, shares his worries and problems with you, who takes your support whenever necessary, who fulfills his responsibilities well, who doesnt just doesnt let you pay 😉 who takes you as his property at the same time gives you your space, who doesnt expect too much, who cant see you with any other guy, who doesn’t like public display of affection, who would go any heights to help you in trouble, who touches you and fills you up with love and care, whose intimacy is not bound by physical attraction but by the commitment, sometimes you will find him extremely cold hearted, sometimes you will find him stubborn and extremely egoistic, but when you think straight you will understand he is just keeping it real, a guy who will fight with you, make you angry deeply, who will neglect you, who will not talk to you for days , not say I love you for days together but will not move from his commitment an inch, who makes you fall for him everyday some more, beside him you feel completeYou feel completely loved.

Patrick-Dempsey-Male-Celebrity-WallpaperMr. McDreamy is like a sunshine who would brighten up your life and a moonlight who would fill your life with stars and romance. This is one character on TV which i lose my sleep and hunger over. I clearly know this craziness is completely crazy but seriously there is no control over some things in life or rather you dont want to have control over some things in life.

Every-time I watched him on screen, I would melt down with the idea of having a guy like that in life..but never found a face matching that character.

Until I found HIM. I just did. Like from no where, he just landed in front of me. Call it a Destiny, call it a Coincidence, call it a Serendipity. I just found him.

Its been some time, I hope he still remembers that he is still my “Mr. McDreamy”..